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How to talk about money as a couple: ‘Money Together’ authors

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Douglas and Heather Boneparth

Photo: Sylvie Rosokoff

Love is complicated. Add in money and it gets even more so.

But in their new book “Money Together,” Heather and Douglas Boneparth argue that having honest and proactive discussions about finances can make partners closer — and eventually, wealthier.

They begin their book, published last month, with an anecdote of a couple who had the difficult money talk a little late — on their honeymoon, over a cold seafood salad in Positano, Italy. (The Boneparths were also on vacation, and eavesdropping.) It became clear that the arguing pair had just discovered the husband had credit card debt, and that the wife’s parents weren’t paying off her student loans.

Of course, it would have been better if this couple had sorted these things out before they walked down the aisle. Yet couples fight so often about finances, at all stages, because “money is more than money,” Heather tells CNBC. Beneath these arguments is each partner’s unique history, disappointments, fears, desires and expectations.

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Heather and Douglas, who met during their freshman year of college and married in 2013, provide readers with advice on how to talk about money with your partner, and how to manage your finances in a long-term relationship to make it easier to get out of debt, buy a house and accomplish other shared and separate goals. In their telling, that’ll first involve understanding what money means to your partner and why — and moving beyond fantasies about the future and each other.

“At some point, your loose conversations have to turn concrete,” they write in their book. “Your dreams need real roadmaps.”

Douglas is a certified financial planner, the president of Bone Fide Wealth in New York and a member of CNBC’s Financial Advisor Council. Heather, Bone Fide Wealth’s director of business and legal affairs, is a writer and former corporate attorney.

The interview below has been edited and condensed for clarity.

‘When there is scarcity, you see shame rear its head’

Annie Nova: You guys write that couples fight about money, no matter how much or little they have of it. Why do you think that is?

Heather Boneparth: Because money is more than money. Some of the emotions we tie to money include love, safety, independence, trust, control — and that’s true for people from any socioeconomic background. But when there is scarcity, you see shame rear its head in different ways. You also see partners in conflict over what constitutes acceptable ways to earn or borrow money, which might relate back to your culture or how you were raised.

AN: Heather, you describe realizing that your decision to borrow $200,000 in student debt was a huge mistake. But having Doug as a partner helped you find a way out. How so?

HB: Debt can feel like a perpetual reminder that you are lacking; not just in money, but in other ways, too. But Doug co-signed the loan to refinance my student loan debt. Knowing what an emotional impact the debt had on me, this was a more sweeping gesture than almost anything a partner could have done. He was saying, “Your burdens are my burdens.”

“Money Together” by Heather and Douglas Boneparth

Courtesy: Heather and Douglas Boneparth

AN: You also write that you “cringe” at the idea of being saved. Why is that, and what does it have to do with entering your 40s?

HB: I don’t like the idea of having saviors and those who need saving in relationships. It lays the foundation for a disparate power dynamic. Often, it implies that the partner who needed saving could not save themselves, and that partner begins to believe it. They believe that they don’t have the skills or knowledge to participate in the household finances, when that’s simply not true.

When I mention my age here, it’s more to demonstrate that a lot can change in a decade. I’ve built my confidence back, brick by brick. 

‘Making room’ for your partner’s money perspectives

AN: You write about how important it is “to make room” for your partner. What does this mean from a financial perspective?

HB: Some of our deepest feelings around money stem from our individual backgrounds. Now, try marrying those beliefs and behaviors with someone else’s. It’s not easy, and we don’t always take the time to understand enough about our partner’s underlying feelings around money and why they do what they do. That’s how you end up in recurring arguments about surface-level issues like a credit card bill rather than getting to the root cause of why you and your partner have differing views around lifestyle and spending. 

I think “making room” from a financial perspective means making room at the table for your partner’s financial beliefs, goals, appetite for risk and opinions about how you save, spend and invest.

AN: What are the risks of failing to talk about money together, and even hiding things from your partner?

Doug Boneparth: Resentment and a breakdown of trust. When you hide financial details from your partner, whether it’s debt, spending habits, or something you’re just embarrassed about, it never stays hidden forever. Having to explain something uncomfortable later only makes it harder to deal with.

‘Talk about money without talking about money’

AN: How early on should a couple start to talk about money?

DB: The earlier, the better. But that doesn’t mean you have to dive right into the numbers. Imagine talking about that on a third date? Not cool. But there are so many ways to talk about money without talking about money. You can learn a lot by asking questions about someone’s past, like what their childhood was like, where they are from and what they value.

AN: What do you think is the ideal arrangement for a married couple to share their money? Joint or separate accounts? And why?

DB: I’ve found that joint accounts for managing household expenses work best. It promotes transparency and teamwork. When both partners can see what’s coming in and going out, it reinforces that you’re in this together. That said, there’s nothing wrong with keeping your own individual checking accounts, too. Maintaining your sense of financial autonomy can be really healthy.

Using ‘financial fairness’ to navigate imbalances

AN: How can couples navigate a big difference in wealth or income between them? 

DB: You can’t bridge that gap if you don’t first acknowledge it. But when one partner earns or has more, unspoken assumptions can creep in. That’s where disparate power dynamics can calcify. Instead, Heather and I write about “financial fairness.” Fairness means you both feel respected and seen for what you value individually and as a couple. One person might earn more while the other contributes in different but equally meaningful ways, like managing the home, raising kids and planning for the future.

AN: What are some of the couple discussions that need to happen around family wealth and inheritances? What about when there is also an imbalance here, with, say, one person standing to inherit a large amount and another partner nothing? 

DB: Conversations around family wealth and inheritance can be tricky because they’re rarely just about money. They can carry a lot of grief and expectations. The best thing couples can do is treat inherited wealth as part of a shared conversation. Talk about what that money represents, what boundaries you want around it and how it fits into your long-term goals together.

AN: There’s a lot of headlines in the news lately about layoffs. How can couples best respond when one person loses their job?

HB: You don’t want to offer solutions too fast to your partner when they might still be reeling from their job loss. For some, losing your job can feel like losing your identity or your power. Those are heavy feelings that need some space to breathe. But of course, you do need to eventually address what transitions or accommodations might need to take place in your lives due to a loss of income.

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Personal Finance

What that means for consumer loans

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Fed in 'neutral' as consumers are feeling okay but not great: The Conference Board CEO Steve Odland

The Federal Reserve held interest rates steady at the conclusion of its policy meeting on Wednesday. 

In what could be Jerome Powell’s last as chair before President Donald Trump’s yet-to-be-confirmed nominee Kevin Warsh takes the helm, central bankers maintained the federal funds rate in a target range of 3.5% to 3.75%. 

Inflation has surged since the war with Iran began, leaving policymakers with limited room to act, according to Sean Snaith, the director of the University of Central Florida’s Institute for Economic Forecasting. “We’re in a kind of suspended animation — between Iran and the Fed transition,” Snaith said.

Read more CNBC personal finance coverage

Before the oil shock, inflation was holding above the Fed’s 2% target but not worsening. Now the jump in energy costs could have longer-term inflationary effects, economists say.

For Americans struggling in the face of higher gas prices and overall affordability challenges, the central bank’s decision to keep interest rates unchanged does little to ease budgetary pressures. “The cavalry isn’t coming anytime soon,” Snaith said.

How the Fed decision impacts you

The Fed’s benchmark sets what banks charge each other for overnight lending, but also has a trickle-down effect on many consumer borrowing and savings rates.

Short-term rates are more closely pegged to the prime rate, which is typically 3 percentage points above the federal funds rate. Longer-term rates, such as home loans, are more influenced by inflation and other economic factors.

Credit cards

Most credit cards have a short-term rate, so they track the Fed’s benchmark.

After the Fed cut rates three times in the second half of 2025, the average annual percentage rate has stayed just under 20%, according to Bankrate.

“Without Fed rate cuts, there’s not much reason to expect meaningful declines anytime soon, so carrying a balance will remain very expensive,” said Matt Schulz, chief credit analyst at LendingTree. 

Mortgage rates

Fixed mortgage rates, on the other hand, don’t directly track the Fed but typically follow the lead of long-term Treasury rates. 

Concerns about how the Iran war will impact the U.S. economy have already pushed the average rate for a 30-year, fixed-rate mortgage up to 6.38% as of Tuesday, from 5.99% at the end of February, according to Mortgage News Daily.

That leaves homeowners with existing low mortgage rates “feeling stuck,” said Michele Raneri, vice president and head of U.S. research and consulting at TransUnion. “Mortgages, more than any other credit type, work on a churn,” she said, referring to how a dip in rates can boost borrowing activity.

Student loans

Federal student loan rates are also fixed and based in part on the 10-year Treasury note, so most borrowers are somewhat shielded from Fed moves and recent economic uncertainty.

Current interest rates on undergraduate federal student loans made through June 30 are 6.39%, according to the U.S. Department of Education. Interest rates for the upcoming school year will be based in part on the May auction of the 10-year note.

Car loans

Auto loan rates are tied to several factors, including the Fed’s benchmark. Because financing costs remain elevated, new car buyers are taking on longer loans to keep their monthly payments manageable, according to the latest data from Edmunds.

Even so, with the rate on a five-year new car loan near 7%, the average monthly payment on a new car rose to $773 in the first quarter of 2026, an all-time high.

“Car buyers are in a tough spot right now because they’re getting squeezed from both ends: high sticker prices and high interest rates, with neither showing any signs of letting up,” said Joseph Yoon, consumer insights analyst at Edmunds.

“Until the rate picture shifts, buyers will keep stretching loan terms to make payments work, which only adds to the total cost of ownership down the road,” Yoon said.

Savings rates

While the Fed has no direct influence on deposit rates, the yields tend to be correlated with changes in the target federal funds rate. So, although rates on certificates of deposit and high-yield savings accounts have fallen from recent highs, they are holding above the annual rate of inflation.

For now, top-yielding online savings accounts and one-year CD rates pay around 4%, according to Bankrate.

“Yields on high-yield savings accounts and certificates of deposit are down from their peaks of a few years ago, but they’re still strong compared to what we’ve seen for most of the past decade,” Schulz said.

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Average tax refund is 11.2% higher, latest IRS filing data shows

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Milan Markovic | E+ | Getty Images

The average tax refund is 11.2% higher this season, compared with about the same period in 2025, according to the latest IRS filing data.

As of April 10, the average refund amount for individual filers was $3,397, up from $3,055 about one year ago, the IRS reported on Friday.

The IRS data reflects about 114 million individual returns received, out of about 164 million expected through Tax Day. Next week’s filing update is expected to include data through the April 15 deadline.

Read more CNBC personal finance coverage

President Donald Trump‘s 2025 legislation, rebranded to the “working families tax cuts,” was a key talking point for Republicans on Tax Day.

With the November midterm elections approaching and Republicans defending slim majorities in Congress, many GOP lawmakers have highlighted Trump’s tax breaks and higher average refunds.

Meanwhile, affordability has been top of mind for many Americans amid rising costs of gas, electricity, food and other living expenses.

For filers who expected a refund this season, nearly one-quarter, or 23%, planned to use the funds to pay down credit card debt, and the same share said they would save the payment, according to the CNBC and SurveyMonkey Quarterly Money Survey, released in April. It polled 3,494 U.S. adults at the end of March.

Who benefited from Trump’s ‘big beautiful bill’ 

“It’s been a great tax season for the American people,” many of whom have benefited from Trump’s tax breaks, Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent said during a White House press briefing on Wednesday. 

More than 53 million filers claimed at least one of Trump’s “signature new tax cuts” — the deductions for tip income, overtime earnings, seniors and auto loan interest — the Department of the Treasury also announced on Wednesday.

Those filers, who claimed the deductions on Schedule 1-A, have seen an average tax cut of over $800, according to the Treasury. Tax cuts can trigger a higher refund or reduce taxes owed, depending on the filer’s situation. 

Tax refunds are higher on average this year than last, according to the IRS: Here's what to know

Some filers who itemize tax breaks have also seen benefits from the bigger federal deduction limit for state and local taxes, known as SALT. Trump’s legislation raised that cap to $40,000, up from $10,000, for 2025.

The latest SALT deduction limit change is expected to primarily benefit higher earners, according to a May 2025 analysis of various proposals from the Tax Foundation.

The Treasury has not released data on how many filers have claimed the SALT deduction during the 2026 filing season. 

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Stocks have touched record highs despite Iran war. Here’s why

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Traders work at the New York Stock Exchange on April 16, 2026.

NYSE

U.S. stocks climbed to record highs on Thursday against a backdrop of war, an oil supply shock and economic forecasts warning of stunted growth amid a protracted conflict.

Many investors may be thinking: Why?

Largely, it’s because the stock market is a barometer of what investors think will happen in the future, rather than an assessment of the present day, according to economists and market analysts.

Investors are essentially shrugging off the Middle East conflict as a blip that will be resolved relatively quickly, they said.

“The stock market isn’t trying to price what’s happening today,” said Joe Seydl, a senior markets economist at J.P. Morgan Private Bank. “The stock market is always trying to price what the world is going to look like six to 12 months from now.”

Why stocks have been ‘resilient’

The S&P 500, a U.S. stock index, fell about 8% in the initial weeks of the Iran war, from the start of the conflict on Feb. 28 to a recent low on March 30.

But stocks have rebounded since then, erasing all losses since the beginning of the war. The S&P 500 closed at an all-time high on Thursday — about 11% higher than its nadir at the end of March. That followed a record close on Wednesday.

“The market has remained very resilient in the face of the war and has rallied strongly on the prospect that it will be resolved,” said Mark Zandi, chief economist at Moody’s.

Tom Lee: Stock market is in better position now than the all-time highs earlier this year

A ship waits to pass through the Strait of Hormuz following the two-week temporary ceasefire between the US and Iran, which is conditional on the opening of the strait, in Oman on April 8, 2026.

Shady Alassar | Anadolu | Getty Images

And while investors cheered the possibility of a diplomatic off-ramp to the conflict, the temporary ceasefire has appeared tenuous, with the U.S. and Iran each accusing the other of breaking the agreement.

Nations haven’t been able to reach a peace deal ahead of the ceasefire’s end. Vice President JD Vance said ​U.S. officials ⁠left peace talks in Pakistan over the weekend after the Iranian delegation refused to agree to American demands not to develop a nuclear weapon.

The markets ‘have memory’

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Economists pointed to a recent example of this dynamic: in April 2025 during so-called liberation day, when the Trump administration levied a host of tariffs on U.S. trading partners.

Within days — after the stock market had cratered more than 12% — Trump announced a 90-day pause on those tariffs. Stocks then saw one of their biggest daily rallies in history following Trump’s reversal.

Investors remember that Trump often de-escalates geopolitical shocks — which is why they’ve seized on positive headlines that hint at progress in peace talks, for example, Seydl said.

“The markets have memory,” Seydl said.

AI stocks and the ‘tech boom’

Traders celebrating at the New York Stock Exchange on April 15, 2026, as the S&P 500 closed above the 7,000 level for the first time.

NYSE

There are other factors underpinning market resilience during wartime, economists said.

One is the investors’ enthusiasm for artificial intelligence and technology stocks, which account for almost half of the S&P 500’s market capitalization, Zandi said.

“Those stocks run on their own dynamic independent of anything, including the war in Iran,” Zandi said. “I think we would have been down a lot more and it would have been harder for us to recover had it not been for the very, very optimistic perspectives on AI.”

We’re in the middle of a “tech boom” — and investors are likely to remain optimistic until they think the tech cycle has run its course, Seydl said.

How to build an investing playbook at record highs

More broadly, stock investors are essentially making a bet on the future earnings growth of a company — and the earnings backdrop has been “pretty solid,” Seydl said.

Consumer spending appears to be stable, for example, economists said. And companies are getting a boost to their after-tax earnings from the GOP’s so-called “big beautiful bill,” which, among other things, made it easier to write off investments upfront and therefore reduce their tax liability, Zandi said.

Going forward

Even if the conflict is short-lived — as the broad market expects — stocks are unlikely to march much higher until it’s clear the U.S. is on the other side of the war and its economic fallout, Zandi said.

If investors are incorrect, and President Trump doesn’t back down or quickly extricate the U.S. from the war, the stock market may see a “full-blown correction” or worse, Zandi said. A stock market correction is a decline of at least 10% from recent highs.

“Everyone thinks they know what the script is,” Zandi said. “Now they just need to follow the script. If they don’t, the market will have some real problems.”

The uncertainty provides yet another example of why the average investor with a long time horizon should stick to their investment plan and ignore the noise, experts said.

“Trying to time the market is very difficult if not impossible for the average investor,” Seydl said. “It’s better to take a long-term perspective and ride out bouts of volatility.”

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