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What author Stephanie Kiser learned as a nanny for the ultra-rich

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Stefanie Kiser Book: “Wanted: Toddler’s Personal Assistant”. Cover design by Jillian Rahn/Sourcebooks.

Courtesy: Stefanie Kiser

Stephanie Kiser came to New York City in 2014 as a new college graduate, hoping to become a screenwriter. Instead, she spent the next seven years as a nanny for wealthy families.

Kiser’s new memoir, “Wanted: Toddler’s Personal Assistant: How Nannying for the 1% Taught Me about the Myths of Equality, Motherhood, and Upward Mobility in America,” details her unexpected career detour.

Her seven years as a nanny saw her escorting one client’s daughter to $500-per-lesson literacy tutors on the Upper East Side, driving Porsches and Mercedes for everyday errands and sheltering in place at a family’s home in the Hamptons during the Covid-19 pandemic. Her clients included families with dynastic wealth as well as those with high-paying jobs such as doctors and lawyers.

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In Kiser’s first nannying job, she was paid $20 an hour, far more than the $14 an hour she estimates she would have made as a production assistant under a short-term contract. Plus, she often ended up working extra hours.

“It usually ended up being like $1,000 a week with everything that I was doing,” Kiser said.

That first job opened doors for higher-paid positions through nanny agencies. In Kiser’s final year as a nanny during the pandemic, she estimates she took home about $110,000.

“Even though I had the least respected job of my friends, I definitely was making the most,” said Kiser, who is now 32 and works at an ad-tech company in New York City.

CNBC spoke with Kiser about some of the financial lessons she learned during her time as a nanny, and why she ultimately left the role.

(This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity). 

No prospects for job growth: ‘I was very stationary’

Scarlett Johansson on Location for “The Nanny Diaries” on May 1, 2006 at Upper East Side in New York City, New York, United States.

James Devaney | Wireimage | Getty Images

Ana Teresa Solá: When I first saw this book, I thought of “The Nanny Diaries,” a novel published in the early 2000s and then adapted into a movie. What made you decide to turn your story into a memoir instead of a novel? 

Stephanie Kiser: I read “The Nanny Diaries” when I started my first job. It definitely hit home at the time, but I did feel like it was sort of a satire. I didn’t want to villainize the rich or the poor because I have people I love very dearly on both sides. 

The intention of my book was to make a social commentary. It was my hope that I could bridge this understanding a bit between the two sides because there’s this thought that poor people just aren’t working hard enough and rich people are just inherently bad. 

I don’t think that’s necessarily true, but I think that people who are wealthy, who are employing these people who really need these jobs, they do have privilege and an opportunity to either make someone’s life better or worse.

A contract as a nanny is important because there’s no HR.

ATS: You mention that you could not afford to work in a professional job in New York because the pay was much lower than you were making as a nanny. Did you feel trapped?

SK: When my last boss read this book, she felt sad and was like, ‘I didn’t realize you were so miserable doing the job.’ I said, ‘No, I wasn’t miserable doing the job. I loved your kids so much, but this was not the job I wanted.’

I did feel trapped. I felt like there’s nothing else I could possibly do, and it got a little bit worse as time went on.

All my friends were growing in these jobs and they were getting more experience in their resume, and I wasn’t. I was very stationary in this position.

It wasn’t a good feeling to feel like there’s nothing else I could possibly do. Now I have a different job and this is the first year that I’m earning more than I did nannying, which is great, but the first couple of years after nannying were definitely really hard financially, making that shift.

‘There’s no HR … the contract is really all you have’

ATS: A family offered you a salary of $125,000, plus full health and dental, a monthly metro card and an annual bonus. But you went with a different family for less pay. You mentioned you were waiting on a contract. Why is that so important in the business?

SK: A contract as a nanny is important because there’s no human resources; there’s no laws protecting you. Your employers are fully in charge of everything and they determine everything. [New York State does have a “Domestic Workers Bill of Rights” with a few protections.]

At a regular job, you can be like, ‘I worked 60 hours already this week, and I’m not going to work more.’ You can’t do that here [with a nanny position.]

The contract is really all you have, and to not get the contract was really worrisome. Your whole life was going to be a nanny for this family. And I was coming off of a job where that had been really tricky, feeling like I wasn’t really a person, and I didn’t want to accept a job where that was the case again. 

Stefanie Kiser Book: “Wanted: Toddler’s Personal Assistant”. Cover design by Jillian Rahn/Sourcebooks.

Courtesy: Stefanie Kiser

ATS: Can you describe the differences between an au pair and a nanny?

SK: An au pair is allowed to work a certain number of hours, like up to 30 hours a week or 40 hours a week, but there is a clear boundary because they often work for an agency. The agency that has sent them has told you very clearly they cannot work more than this.

They get a very small stipend, but they do get specific accommodations, maybe they have their own room. They have all their meals paid for, transportation. An au pair has more things in place to make sure that they’re not taken advantage of. Nannies often don’t have these protections.

Nannies who come from agencies are slightly more protected and those are typically the ones who get contracts. But these are the best of the best nannies; these are career nannies who have been doing this for 50 years; they’ve raised so many kids and they have amazing references. Or it’s a young nanny that just got here after graduating from a great university and has like 10 skills that they are able to offer. So this is a luxury, honestly.

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ATS: You also describe the uncertainty associated with this job. It seems like nannying work can have a low barrier to entry, with salary growth potential, but then there are all these other risks.

SK: I’ve known nannies who’ve gotten pregnant and they tell their boss. There’s no, ‘We’re going to pay you three months maternity.’ there’s no, ‘We’re gonna let you leave on month eight so you can rest.’ There’s none of that.

You can never really feel safe in the job. If you have a medical emergency, if anything goes wrong — I’m sure there’s exceptions, but for the most part, you’re sort of just out of luck. It is a really risky career in that sense. 

‘That’s how you know they’re wealthy’

ATS: According to the Pew Research Center, about 47% of childless adults under 50 in 2023 said they are unlikely to ever have children. What would that mean for nannies?

SK: I wonder if that applies to the sort of people that I’m writing about. I wonder if for them this is a decline we’ll see or if they’re sort of outliers.

If it is the case, I think it’s a really serious problem. There are a lot of people in New York who come here and they need something to get by, who babysit, maybe it’s their after work job and that’s how they do it. Or there’s people who don’t have papers that are really limited in what they can do, and a lot of times, housekeeping and nannying is the only option.

ATS:  At the end of the book, you write that you received an offer as a personal assistant for a CEO with a $90,000 salary and benefits. Was that starting point below what you had been earning as a nanny at the time?

SK: For sure. As a nanny, I had made $110,000 … So it was a significant decrease.

I had to work very quickly and very hard to get promoted. I was a personal assistant and I was an executive assistant, I changed companies last July and I became a senior assistant, and that was the role where I finally made more than I did nannying. And I don’t think I could have done this, made this transition, if my student loan payments weren’t paused because of Covid.

ATS: You write in your book that some families signal their wealth by having many children. I’m curious to hear more about that.

SK: I think about where I was born and where I came from, and anytime there was a family that had like five or six kids, it was sort of like, ‘Well that makes sense, because they weren’t wealthy.’ And then you come to New York and you see someone on Park Avenue that has five or six kids, and it’s like, ‘That’s how you know they’re wealthy.’

Here, if you do have three kids, you start sending them to preschool at $40,000 a year, and then they’re going to these elite schools from kindergarten to 12th grade that are $60,000 a year, and then you’re sending them to Harvard for four years.

And it’s not even just the schooling, it’s most of the time you’re sending three kids to this school, then you’re employing a full-time nanny after they have private guitar lessons.

ATS: What would you tell women in their 20s who are in the shoes you were in a few years ago? 

SK: Do things in parallel. I don’t think I would have been happy if I had done just the nannying. I couldn’t have survived on just writing, but I think that by doing this in parallel, things turned out exactly how they were supposed to be for me.

Nannying was so important for me because not only was I able to make money to live, but it allowed me to get a foundation. When I moved to New York, I had nothing. Now I have a fully furnished apartment, things that you need to be a fully functioning adult. I have a dog, I’m able to take care of him and I have a car. These are things that I couldn’t have done without being a nanny.

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Here’s how to know if active ETFs are right for your portfolio

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Izusek | E+ | Getty Images

Exchange-traded funds are generally known for passive strategies. But there has been a surge in actively managed ETFs as investors seek lower costs and more precision, experts say.

Active ETFs represented just more than 2% of the U.S. ETF market at the beginning of 2019. But these funds have since grown more than 20% each year, rising to a market share of more than 7% in 2024, according to Morningstar.

Some 328 active ETFs have launched in 2024 through September, compared to 352 in 2023, which has been “kind of remarkable,” said Stephen Welch, a senior manager research analyst for Morningstar, referring to the growth of ETFs this year.

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There are a few reasons for the active ETF growth, experts say.

In 2019, the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission issued the “ETF rule,” which “streamlined the approval process” and made it easier for portfolio managers to create new ETFs, Welch said.

Meanwhile, investors and advisors have increasingly shifted toward lower-cost funds. Plus, there has been a trend of mutual fund providers converting funds to ETFs.

Still, only a fraction of issuers have been successful in the active ETF market. The top 10 issuers controlled 74% of assets, as of March 31, according to Morningstar. As of October, only 40% of active stock ETFs had more than $100 million in assets.

The “biggest thing” to focus on is the health of an active ETF, explained Welch, warning investors to “stay away from ones that don’t have a lot of assets.”

Active ETFs allow ‘tactical adjustments’

While passive ETFs replicate an index, such as the S&P 500, active managers aim to outperform a specific benchmark. Like passive ETFs, the active version is typically more tax-friendly that similar mutual funds.

“Active ETFs allow managers to make tactical adjustments, which may help navigate market volatility more smoothly than a passive index,” said certified financial planner Jon Ulin, managing principal of Ulin & Co. Wealth Management in Boca Raton, Florida.

These funds can also provide “more unique strategies” compared to the traditional index space, he said.  

The average active ETF fee is 0.65%, which is 36% cheaper than the average mutual fund, according to a Morningstar report released in April. But the asset-weighted average expense ratio for passive funds was 0.11% in 2023.

However, there is the potential for underperformance, as many active managers fail to beat their benchmarks, Ulin said. Plus, some active ETFs are newer, with less performance data to review their performance.

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Ahead of U.S. election, financial advisors say public debt is top concern

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Voters work on their ballot at a polling station at the Elena Bozeman Government Center in Arlington, Virginia, on September 20, 2024.

– | Afp | Getty Images

Many investors worry about how the outcome of the presidential election will impact their investments.

But there’s another risk financial advisors are focused on — public debt, according to a new survey from Natixis Investment Managers.

Most U.S. advisors — 68% — rank public debt as the top economic risk, while 64% of advisors worldwide said the same, according to the survey of 2,700 respondents in 20 countries, including 300 in the U.S.

“No matter who wins the election, they’re convinced public debt is going to continue to go up,” said Dave Goodsell, executive director of the Natixis Center for Investor Insight.

The term public debt is used interchangeably by the U.S. Treasury with national debt and federal debt.

The government has borrowed to pay expenses over time, comparable to how an individual might use a credit card and not pay off the full balance each month. The U.S. national debt is now more than $35 trillion and growing.

The next U.S. president and Congress will inherit that government spending dilemma, as well as looming trust fund depletion dates for Social Security and Medicare.

More individuals now believe they are on their own when it comes to funding their retirements, the Natixis survey have shown, according to Goodsell.

Experts say there are certain moves individual investors can make to limit the financial exposure they have to those broader risks.

“You cannot control what Congress is doing, but you can control how you plan, how you save, invest and react to the news,” said Marguerita Cheng, a certified financial planner and CEO of Blue Ocean Global Wealth in Gaithersburg, Maryland. Cheng is also a member of the CNBC FA Council.

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Adjust your tax exposure

Higher national debt means taxes may also likely go up.

“We can’t forecast what tax rates will be in the future,” Cheng said.

Having money in a mix of tax-deferred, tax free and taxable accounts can be helpful, because it gives investors flexibility to limit their taxable withdrawals.

Roth individual retirement accounts and 401(k) plans allow savers invest post-tax money toward retirement. Taking advantage of other kinds of accounts — 529 college savings plans or health savings accounts for medical expenses — may provide tax advantages for money spent on qualified expenses.

Pare back personal debts

While the U.S. national debt is high, consumer debts have also been climbing.

“The sheer amount of debt that is outstanding that is charging more than 10% per year is shocking,” Glassman said.

To help keep those balances in check, and how much they cost, it helps to have good credit, Cheng said.

Consumers can help reduce the cost of their debts by paying their bills on time, which then lets them borrow money at better interest rates on everything from cars to homes, and can even help to reduce car insurance costs, she said.

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Why parents will pay $500,000 for Ivy League admissions consulting

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Ivy League architecture at Princeton University.

Loop Images | Getty Images

At the nation’s top schools, including many in the Ivy League, acceptance rates hover near all-time lows.

“College admissions only ever gets more competitive and there’s a lot of stress from families about the stakes and how to get in,” said Thomas Howell, the founder of Forum Education, a New-York based tutoring company.

For some families, getting their child into a top school is an investment, and to that end there is almost no limit to what they will spend on tutors, college counselors and test prep.

‘Top 20% or bust’

Meanwhile, as the sticker price at some private colleges nears six figures a year, some students have opted for less expensive public schools or alternatives to a degree altogether. For those willing to pay for a four-year, private college, it should be worthwhile, the sentiment often goes.

“The value proposition of higher education is splitting,” Howell said, “it’s either a top school or a real value.”

For this crop of college applicants, it’s “top 20% or bust,” he added.

As a result, universities in the so-called “Ivy Plus” are experiencing a record-breaking increase in applications, according to a report by the Common Application.

The “Ivy Plus” is a group that generally includes the eight private colleges that comprise the Ivy League — Brown, Columbia, Cornell, Dartmouth, Harvard, University of Pennsylvania, Princeton and Yale — plus the University of Chicago, Duke, Massachusetts Institute of Technology and Stanford.

To get into this elite group of schools, many families look for outside help to get a leg up.

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“The consensus is it’s only worth going to college if it’s a life changing college,” said Hafeez Lakhani, founder and president of Lakhani Coaching in New York. 

“What hasn’t changed is people with enormous resources willing to invest over $100,000, which is about 20% of our clients,” Lakhani said. “This might be the single largest thing they’ve spent on other than a car.”

Lakhani Coaching’s clients spend an average of $58,000 on counseling, but some have spent as much as $800,000 over the course of several years, according to Lakhani.

At that price point, students receive “essentially a ‘SEAL-team’ level tutor through almost every class,” he said. Lakhani was equating the academic support with the highest level of organization and execution that epitomizes the training of a Navy Seal, the special operation force that stands for sea, air and land teams.

Lakhani charges $1,600 an hour for his services, the top rate at his company, and still, families often choose to work with him over the less senior coaches there, some of whom charge about $290 an hour, he said.

Even if he charged more, that dynamic likely would not change, he added.

Parents often say, “it’s worth the investment,” he added. “That word investment comes up over and over again.”

Christopher Rim, founder and CEO of college consulting firm Command Education.

Courtesy: Christopher Rim

At Command Education in New York, counselors meet with students weekly starting in eight or ninth grade. Families are charged $120,000 per year, not including the Standards Admission Test (SAT) or American College Test (ACT) test prep. By graduation, they’ve spent roughly half a million dollars.

Command caps the clientele at 200 students worldwide, mostly on a first-come, first-served basis, although they will turn students away if they don’t think they can deliver the desired outcome, according to Christopher Rim, the founder and CEO.

“At the end of the day, results are most important,” he said.

‘This is not a neighborhood tutor’

‘An imperfect meritocracy’

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“Higher education is an imperfect meritocracy,” Lakhani said.

However, the wealthiest students hailing form the country’s top private schools are primarily competing amongst themselves as schools look to build a diversified class.

“When you are applying from an affluent family, the people you are competing against are people in a similar bucket,” Lakhani said.

The irony is most don’t want to admit that they’ve received private help, even if they are fortunate enough to get it.

“Every parent wants to say their child does it on their own,” Rim said.

Is an Ivy League degree worth it?

A study by Harvard University-based non-partisan, non-profit research group Opportunity Insights compared the estimated future income of waitlisted students who ultimately attended Ivy League schools with those who went to public universities instead.

In the end, the group of Harvard University- and Brown University-based economists found that attending an Ivy League college has a “statistically insignificant impact” on earnings.

However, there are other advantages beyond income.

For instance, attending a college in the “Ivy-plus” category rather than a highly selective public institution nearly doubles the chances of attending an elite graduate school and triples the chances of working at a prestigious firm, according to Opportunity Insights.

Leadership positions are disproportionately held by graduates of a few highly selective private colleges, the Opportunity Insights report found. 

Further, it increases students’ chances of ultimately reaching the top 1% of the earnings distribution by 60%.

“Highly selective private colleges serve as gateways to the upper echelons of society,” the researchers said.

“Because these colleges currently admit students from high-income families at substantially higher rates than students from lower-income families with comparable academic credentials, they perpetuate privilege,” they added.

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