Connect with us

Personal Finance

Who should pay for the first date? Experts weigh in

Published

on

Janina Steinmetz | Digitalvision | Getty Images

When it comes to dating etiquette, one question seems to inspire more anxiety than most: Who pays for the first date?

Dating experts think there’s a clear answer for heterosexual couples.

“The man should pay for the first date,” said Blaine Anderson, a dating coach for men.

Erika Ettin, an online dating coach, agrees.

“I recommend my male clients pay and my female clients offer,” said Ettin, the founder of A Little Nudge. Men should politely decline that offer — unless the woman insists, in which case the man should accept it, Ettin added.

The etiquette “shouldn’t be that complicated,” she said.

Public opinion is more or less in line with what dating experts say. Most Americans — 72% — say a man should pay for the first date, according to a recent NerdWallet survey. About 68% of adults stress about their finances when organizing a date, and 69% said they’ve felt uncomfortable on dates because of how much it will cost, according to a recent Self Financial poll.

Whoever pays, the average person pays $77 for a first date, according to a LendingTree survey. That adds up: The average man paid $861 on dates in 2019 while the average woman spent $500, LendingTree found.

“Plan something that’s within your budget,” said Anderson, founder of Dating By Blaine.

“If you’re concerned about cost, you have planned a date that is too expensive,” Anderson added. Feeling the need to go to a fancy dinner to impress your date means “you’re approaching the date wrong,” she said.

Why dating experts think men should pay

Damircudic | E+ | Getty Images

Historically, men were expected to cover the bill due to traditional roles of men as household breadwinners and women as caregivers for children, said Carli Blau, a couples and dating therapist.

While society has changed tremendously, men likely still feel a subconscious need to pay as a gesture of financial security, said Blau, founder of Boutique Psychotherapy.

Indeed, men are more likely to think they should pay for a first date than women, at 78% versus 68%, according to the NerdWallet poll.

Proponents of men picking up the tab sometimes point to ongoing financial factors like a persistent gender wage gap as a key rationale.

More from Personal Finance:
People are spending hundreds a month on dating apps
This matchmaker’s fee can top $500,000
He asked for his money back after a first date

But dating experts often use a different logic: The person who asks for the date should generally treat — and that’s typically the man in American society, Ettin said.

The same calculus holds for same-sex couples: Whoever asks should break out their wallet, she said.

“I think it’s not a matter of ‘the guy should pay for it,’ but rather who’s courting who?” Blau said.

In heterosexual couples, 53% of men say they asked for the first date versus 15% of women, according to a poll by the Institute for Family Studies.

How I built my $400 million-a-year dating app Hinge

The one who pursues a romantic interest and chooses where to take their date is expected to pay, Blau added.

That means a woman should be prepared to pay if she asks out a guy, Ettin said. However, she advises men to still be prepared to cover the tab.

There’s also some romantic strategy here: Covering the bill gives the man “the best possible shot at the second date, if he likes her,” Anderson said.

Yes, it’s the traditional expectation — but it’s also a nice gesture, she added.

The advice isn’t contrary to the notion of equality and feminism, Ettin said.

“We still want that,” she said. “But it feels nice to be treated sometimes.”

“I do believe that equality and feminism and chivalry can all exist at the same time,” Ettin said.

When to split the bill

Additionally, splitting the bill feels “extremely tacky and friend zone-ish,” Ettin said.

Women interested in a second date can instead suggest they treat next time, she suggested.

Women who do offer to pay shouldn’t be mad if men accept, experts said.

“Don’t go call a friend or me as a therapist and complain afterwards they took you up on it,” Blau said.

“In this place of equality and women wanting to be treated equally — as we should be — if we go to pay it also could be considered disrespectful if the man says, ‘No, I’ll take care of it.’ Then it becomes a power dynamic,” she added.

If you’re concerned about cost, you have planned a date that is too expensive.

Blaine Anderson

dating coach

Some women may feel the need to split the check if they know they don’t want a second date. However, experts somewhat diverged on this etiquette.

“I don’t think it’s a requirement” but it’s polite to offer to pay in such cases, Anderson said.

Ettin doesn’t think payment should be tied to how well a date went, though.

“All you owe them is a thank you,” she said. “That’s it. A genuine thank you.”

Continue Reading

Personal Finance

Retirees may feel it’s not enough

Published

on

Sporrer/Rupp | Image Source | Getty Images

Millions of Social Security beneficiaries have now received their first benefit checks for 2025.

The new 2.5% cost-of-living adjustment — which adds $50 per month to retirement benefits on average — marks the lowest increase since 2021, when inflation spiked shortly thereafter.

With prices still high, many beneficiaries are likely feeling the increase “wasn’t quite enough,” though “every little bit helps,” said Jenn Jones, vice president of financial security at AARP, an interest group representing Americans ages 50 and over.

More from Personal Finance:
IRS announces the start of the 2025 tax season
What the Trump administration could mean for your money
House Republicans push to extend Trump tax cuts

“When you’re living on a fixed income, when even what some might think are small or mild increases to everyday expenses happen, they can create a real financial burden for older Americans,” Jones said.

One measure, the Elder Economic Security Standard Index — also known simply as the Elder Index — developed by the Gerontology Institute at the University of Massachusetts in Boston, evaluates just how much it costs older adults to pay for their basic needs and age in place.

Social Security alone doesn’t cover adequate lifestyle

Based on a national average, a single person would need $2,099 per month if they are a homeowner with no mortgage, to cover housing, food, transportation, health care and other miscellaneous expenses, according to 2024 Elder Index data.

That goes up to $2,566 per month necessary for single renters, and $3,249 per month for single homeowners with a mortgage.

An older couple who own a home without a mortgage would need $3,162 per month, according to the index. That increases to $3,629 per month for a couple who rents, and $4,312 per month for a couple who has a mortgage on their home.

Those amounts exceed the average Social Security retirement benefits Americans stand to receive. In 2025, individual retired workers receive an average $1,976 per month, while couples who both qualify for benefits have an average $3,089 per month.

To be sure, those Elder Index thresholds are based on national averages, and in some areas of the country retirees may be able to stretch their incomes further than others. Yet the data typically shows it’s difficult to live just on Social Security benefits.

“What we find with the Elder Index is that there isn’t a single county in the country where the average Social Security benefit covers an adequate lifestyle,” said Jan Mutchler, professor of gerontology at the University of Massachusetts in Boston, of comparisons that were run prior to the 2024 data.

‘Prices might be rising faster’

As a record number of baby boomers turn 65, research from the Alliance for Lifetime Income has found 52.5% of that cohort will rely primarily on Social Security for income in retirement since they have assets of $250,000 or less.

The Social Security cost-of-living adjustment aims to track inflation. Yet because those adjustments are made annually, they come with a lag, according to Laura Quinby, associate director of employee benefits and labor markets at the Center for Retirement Research at Boston College.

As inflation spiked, reaching a peak in 2022, Social Security’s COLAs also reached four-decade highs. In 2022, Social Security beneficiaries saw a 5.9% boost to benefits, which was followed by a higher 8.7% increase in 2023. That subsided to a 3.2% increase in 2024, followed by a more modest 2.5% bump for 2025.

The Social Security COLAs largely made up for the inflation surge that happened in 2022, Quinby said. However, inflation is now ticking up again, she said. The consumer price index rose 0.4% in December, slightly above what had been estimated for the month, and was up 2.9% for the year.

“We’re in another period where prices might be rising faster than the Social Security COLA,” Quinby said.

Here's how to calculate your personal inflation rate

How much retirees are affected by inflation varies based on three factors — how much their assets keep up with rising prices, the amount of debt they have at fixed interest rates and whether they change their savings, investment or work behaviors, the Center for Retirement Research has found.

Mary Johnson, a 73-year-old independent Social Security and Medicare analyst, said her Social Security cost-of-living adjustment for 2025 has mostly been consumed by rising costs. While Social Security represents about 40% of her income, much of her other retirement assets are invested in stocks, which saw record growth last year.

Still, Johnson said she’s grappling with increases to her homeowner’s insurance, home heating and cooling bills, food costs, and drug plan premiums. One bright spot is that she did see her auto insurance decline last year.

‘Biggest game changer this year’

A notable change retirees have to look forward to in 2025 is a new $2,000 annual cap on out-of-pocket Medicare Part D prescription drug costs, that was enacted with the Inflation Reduction Act under President Joe Biden.

“That’s the biggest game changer this year for older Americans,” said AARP’s Jones.

More than 95% of Medicare Part D beneficiaries will benefit from that new out-of-pocket cap, AARP’s research has found.

Before the change, the amount of money Medicare Part D beneficiaries spent on their medications was unlimited, with potentially thousands of dollars in out-of-pocket costs, according to Juliette Cubanski, deputy director of the program on Medicare policy at KFF, a provider of health policy research.

The change provides real financial relief and peace of mind, she said.

“If they’re not taking expensive medications now, but they do in the future, they won’t have to potentially go bankrupt or just simply not fill their prescriptions because they cannot afford the out-of-pocket cost,” Cubanski said.

To be sure, Medicare beneficiaries still face other rising costs, particularly with regard to monthly Part B and Part D premiums. Because those payments can be deducted directly from Social Security checks, they may affect just how much of a COLA increase beneficiaries see.

In 2025, the standard monthly Part B premium is $185 per month, while the average standard Part D premium is $46.50. Notably, higher-income beneficiaries pay more expensive rates, though that may not be as noticeable in their household budgets, Cubanski said.

“For others, the fact that they’re paying premiums for Medicare coverage certainly takes away from the amount of money that they have for other essentials,” Cubanski said.

Continue Reading

Personal Finance

Here are key changes for investors nearing retirement in 2025

Published

on

Miniseries | E+ | Getty Images

Leverage the 401(k) ‘super catch-up’

For 2025, investors can save more with higher 401(k) plan limits. Employees can defer $23,500 into 401(k) plans, up from $23,000 in 2024. The catch-up contribution limit is $7,500 for workers ages 50 and older.

But thanks to Secure 2.0, there’s a “super catch-up” for investors ages 60 to 63, said certified financial planner Michael Espinosa, president of TrueNorth Retirement Services in Salt Lake City. 

The catch-up contribution for employees ages 60 to 63 jumps to $11,250 for 2025. That brings the total deferral limit to $34,750 for these workers.

“This could be huge” for deferring taxes in 2025, Espinosa said.

Some 15% of eligible participants made catch-up contributions in 2023, according to Vanguard’s 2024 How America Saves report, based on data from 1,500 qualified plans and nearly 5 million participants.

Avoid a penalty for inherited IRAs

An inherited individual retirement account could boost your nest egg. However, some heirs may face an IRS penalty for missed required withdrawals in 2025, experts say. 

With more focus on shifting economic policy, “it’s easy to see how this one could get buried,” said CFP Edward Jastrem, chief planning officer at Heritage Financial Services in Westwood, Massachusetts.

Since 2020, certain inherited accounts must follow the “10-year rule,” meaning heirs must empty inherited IRAs by the 10th year after the original owner’s death. This applies to heirs who are not a spouse, minor child, disabled, or chronically ill, and certain trusts.

Starting in 2025, the IRS will enforce the penalty on heirs for missed required minimum distributions, or RMDs. The penalty is 25% of the amount that should have been withdrawn. But it’s possible to reduce that penalty if your RMD is “timely corrected” within two years, according to the IRS.

Heirs must take yearly withdrawals if the original IRA owner had reached their RMD age before death.

Tax Tip: 401(K) limits for 2025

Social Security benefit change is ‘significant’

If you or your spouse work in public service and expect to receive a pension, new legislation could mean higher Social Security benefits in retirement.

Enacted by former President Joe Biden in January, the Social Security Fairness Act ended two provisions — the Windfall Elimination Provision and Government Pension Offset — that lowered benefits for certain government employees and their spouses.

“This change is significant for many retirees who had their benefits eliminated or reduced,” said CFP Scott Bishop, partner and managing director of Presidio Wealth Partners, based in Houston.

The Social Security Administration is working on the timeline for the new legislation and will update its website when more details are available.

Continue Reading

Personal Finance

What to know collections restarting

Published

on

Jose Luis Pelaez | Getty Images

For roughly the past five years, federal student loan borrowers who fell behind on their bills didn’t need to worry about the usual consequences, including the garnishment of their wages and retirement benefits.

That will soon change.

In a U.S. Department of Education memo obtained by CNBC, dated Jan. 13, a top Biden administration official laid out for the first time details of when collection activity may resume. In some cases, borrowers could feel the pain as early as this summer.

By late 2024, the number of federal student loan borrowers in default was roughly 5.5 million, the department’s memo said.

Here’s what borrowers struggling to pay their bills need to know about the risks ahead.

Different garnishments to resume at different times

Federal student loan borrowers who’ve defaulted on their loans may see their wages garnished starting in October of this year, according to the Education Department memo. Social Security benefit offsets could resume as early as August.

It may be up to the new administration under President Donald Trump to decide how to handle the resumption of collections, experts said. However, the department under President Joe Biden took some steps to help defaulted borrowers.

Later this year, for the first time, borrowers in default should be able to enroll in the Income-Based Repayment plan “and have a pathway to forgiveness,” the memo says.

Currently, federal student loan borrowers need to exit default before they can access any of the income-driven repayment plans, including the IBR. These plans aim to set borrowers’ monthly bills at a number they can afford, and many end up with a $0 monthly payment.

More from Personal Finance:
How to know if a rental listing is a scam
Now is an ‘ideal time’ to reassess your retirement savings
How climate change is reshaping home insurance costs

Meanwhile, the Biden administration also moved to protect a higher amount of people’s Social Security benefits from the department’s collection powers. When the consequences of defaults resume, those with a monthly Social Security benefit under $1,883 should be able to protect those benefits from offset, compared with the current protected amount of $750 in place today.

“Available data suggest that these actions will effectively halt Social Security offsets for more than half of affected borrowers and reduce the offset amount for many others,” the memo said.

The White House and the U.S. Department of Education did not respond to a request for comment on how the Trump administration plans to handle those measures.

What borrowers can do

Borrowers who are already in default should contact their loan servicer “right away” to talk about resolving the issue, said Betsy Mayotte, president of The Institute of Student Loan Advisors, a nonprofit.

Someone can get out of default on their student loans through rehabilitating or consolidating their debt, Mayotte said.

Rehabilitating involves making “nine voluntary, reasonable and affordable monthly payments,” according to the U.S. Department of Education. Those nine payments can be made over “a period of 10 consecutive months,” it said.

Consolidation, meanwhile, may be available to those who “make three consecutive, voluntary, on-time, full monthly payments.” At that point, they can essentially repackage their debt into a new loan.

If you don’t know who your loan servicer is, you can find out at Studentaid.gov.

Those who aren’t already in default should contact their loan servicer to avoid that outcome, Mayotte said. You may be able to lower your monthly payments on an income-driven repayment plan or pause your payments through a deferment or forbearance.

Continue Reading

Trending