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Allowances are for kids — not your spouse

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You don’t have to scroll far to find the #tradwives and #SAHGs (stay-at-home girlfriends) of social media who glamorize the extremes of domesticity, or the wives in Dubai who film their extravagant errands, such as picking up a Cartier bracelet and stopping for a facial on the way home.

At all ends of the wealth spectrum, there’s a common thread tying these women together: permission. Someone, usually a man, is giving it to them.

The term “allowance” should make you think of money a parent gives to a child. Yet, it arises in the financial arrangements of these partnerships, too. The allusion is right in our faces, infantilizing women by placing their freedom to spend under the thumb of their partner’s permission.

Most financial experts and professionals cringe at the concept, and it should come as no surprise that the topic has been covered far and wide.

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But there’s also the fact that social media’s going to social media — so much is put on for show. The most extreme content often receives the most attention, leaving open the question of how real and commonplace “allowances” actually are among couples.

Do people really operate like this?

Until recently, we thought, no. But turns out, we were wrong.

While interviewing couples for our forthcoming book on love and money, a few have used that word. Typically, the dynamic involves a male partner who earns an income and a female who cares for their children at home.

Hearing it via Zoom during real conversations about real people’s money felt worse than the sensationalized snippets on TikTok. The sense of permission took on a broader meaning with dual negative implications: These women need permission from their partners to spend money, and they have permission to not engage around the important decisions in their financial lives as a couple.

It’s disappointing, for sure, but we think there’s something to salvage beneath the surface.

Why ‘allowance’ is a problematic term

Most people who adopt this antiquated terminology don’t really intend to create a disparate weight of power and control in their relationship — at least that’s what we’ve observed.

What they actually want is to feel safe knowing that guardrails exist.

They are not trying to remove anyone’s sense of agency. They just want to know their partner is not heading to Cartier for a bracelet and stopping for a facial on the way home (figuratively speaking, of course). However, they might also be a bit lazy for embracing the easiest word, one already familiar to them from their own lives and the lives we observe online. 

Just because it’s easy doesn’t make it right. There’s harm in “allowances,” which perpetuate gender-based stereotypes and widen the wealth gap and knowledge gap around personal finance.  

American Greed: Financial Infidelity

Set a ‘check-in number’ instead

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A better way to build trust while establishing reasonable guardrails around spending isn’t through permission, but through communication. Couples can set a check-in number, which is a dollar amount they are both comfortable with each other spending before discussing it together.

There’s no one right number. We’ve spoken to couples who’ve picked $100 and couples who’ve chosen $1,000 based on their personal circumstances and comfort levels.

Consider carefully what the number should be, though. Selecting a number that’s too high could risk running afoul of your budget, which would defeat the purpose. But choosing a number that’s too low could lessen your partner’s agency to spend, which might not reflect the reality of costs to effectively perform his or her responsibilities of everyday life.

For example, setting a check-in number at $50 when your spouse purchases all the home goods, school supplies and clothing for your growing children probably doesn’t make sense. She might even grow resentful if she feels her judgment carries no weight, which, based on the data, can clearly erode trust over time.

But most importantly, the check-in number should be the same for both partners, irrespective of who earns more income.

Our idea of contribution shouldn’t be affixed to a salary and shouldn’t dictate who has more financial freedom. We all contribute in our own ways, and every contribution matters. Your husband shouldn’t be able to buy $2,000 golf clubs while you’ve got to check in for a $110 pair of sneakers. These are inequities that metastasize. They don’t just go away.

Remember, setting a check-in number isn’t an “allowance” by another name. It’s an amount up to which you and your partner are free to spend without having a conversation every time. It replaces permission with communication. It builds a team playing by the same set of rules and fostering an environment of mutual respect.

— By Douglas and Heather Boneparth of The Joint Account, a money newsletter for couples. Douglas is a certified financial planner and the president of Bone Fide Wealth in New York City. Heather, an attorney, is the firm’s director of business and legal affairs. Douglas is also a member of the CNBC Financial Advisor Council.

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Concert ticket prices soar, but music fans don’t care

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Live Nation CEO: Live entertainment is a very scarce commodity

From Billie Eilish and Sabrina Carpenter to Kendrick Lamar and SZA, 2025 promises to be another big year for live music events. That may also mean concert-goers will be shelling out more for their favorite shows.

After rising steadily post-pandemic, admission to movies, theaters, and concerts jumped 20% since 2021, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ consumer price index data.

And yet, consumers have demonstrated a high tolerance for the increasing price tag, also known as “funflation.”

Concert goers attended an average of seven shows in 2024, and most plan to see more in 2025, according to a recent report by CouponCabin.

The survey of more than 1,000 music fans in December found that nearly 36% said they will spend $100 to $499 on concert tickets in 2025, while over 17% plan to spend up to $1,000.

Chalk it up to ‘funflation’

After testing new limits in 2024, Americans proved a willingness to splurge — even travel abroad — to catch shows like Taylor Swift’s Era Tour, bringing so-called “passion tourism” into the spotlight, some experts say.

Younger adults, particularly Generation Z and millennials, have even said they would go into debt to pursue some of these experiences, other recent reports show.

Nearly two out of five Gen Z and millennial travelers have spent up to $5,000 on tickets alone for destination live events, one recent study from Bread Financial found.

Why concert tickets got so expensive

Dynamic pricing” is partly to blame for the escalating price tag, according to Joe Bennett, a forensic musicologist at Berklee College of Music.

Originally coined by economists in the late 1920s, dynamic pricing refers the charging of a higher price at a time of greater demand. Consumers often associate it with shifting airline ticket prices or how ride-hailing services adjust fares at busy times, Bennett said.

“We all know that if you are looking for an Uber or Lyft, there are certain times of night when it’s more expensive. The market seems to have adapted to that,” he said. “But concert tickets were generally a fixed price.”

That’s no longer the case. And now there is heightened awareness — and controversy — around the practice when it comes to buying highly sought-after event tickets.

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How and when dynamic pricing is used is at the discretion of the artist or management, according to Andrew Mall, an associate professor of music at Northeastern University — and it is often determined under the radar.

However, with so many recent high-profile tours, “for sure, dynamic pricing has surged to the forefront of concert goers’ attention,” he recently told CNBC.

Ticketmaster is under investigation in the U.K. for its recent use of dynamic pricing in sales of reunion concerts from Britpop band Oasis.

Many Oasis fans took to social media to complain that they ended up paying more than double the face value of the ticket without warning. The band said it would abandon the practice for the North American leg of its tour.

Taylor Swift reportedly refused to dynamically price her Eras Tour tickets because “she didn’t want to do that to her fans,” Jay Marciano, chairman and CEO of AEG Presents, which promoted the event, told HITS Daily Double in October.

How ticket pricing evolved

Throughout the 21st century, revenue from recorded music has gone down while revenue from live music events has gone up. By the mid-2000s, concerts “provided a larger source of income for performers than record sales or publishing royalties,” economist Alan Krueger wrote in a paper on the economic issues and trends in the rock and roll industry.

Live music industry revenue jumped 25% in 2023 alone, according to data from Statista.

Ticketmaster in 2011 first introduced an early version of dynamic ticket pricing, which is now the standard for live music ticketing sales.

In more recent years, “ticket sales went crazy” driven by post-pandemic pent-up demand and a surge in mega-star stadium tours, Bennett said.

“You can see why it’s tempting,” he said. “The live music industry is constantly leaving money on the table that fans would pay. Dynamic pricing is sort of a capitalist inevitability given the forces at play, but I don’t want to live in a world where it costs $1,000 for my daughter to see Taylor Swift.”

Still, it’s now common for ticket-selling platforms to charge more per ticket depending on demand for the event at any given time — whether consumers like it or not, according to Matt Schulz, LendingTree’s chief credit analyst.

“It’s not very popular, as you might imagine,” Schulz said. “Businesses and musicians are trying to see what the market will bear, and it makes things really difficult for the consumer.”

Why pricey tickets are here to stay

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Trump funding freeze is existential threat: Morehouse College president

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Morehouse College President David Thomas speaks during Morehouse College’s graduation ceremony, before US President Joe Biden delivers his commencement address, in Atlanta, Georgia on May 19, 2024. 

Andrew Caballero-Reynolds | Afp | Getty Images

David Thomas, the president of Morehouse College, said his office fielded a surge of calls this week from worried students and their families concerned the Trump Administration’s “federal funding freeze” would directly impact college access

The sudden scramble was “perhaps only rivaled by what happened in March of 2020 when we realized that the Covid pandemic was truly a threat,” Thomas told CNBC. He became president of Morehouse, one of the country’s top historically Black colleges and universities, or HBCUs, in 2018.

This freeze on federal aid “would create another existential threat as great as the pandemic,” he said.

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Thomas’ comments come amid ongoing confusion about how a freeze on federal grants and loans could potentially impact students and schools.

A Jan. 27 memo issued by the Office of Management and Budget, which would affect billions of dollars in aid, said the pause on federal grants and loans “does not include assistance provided directly to individuals.”

Although the memo was later rescinded, the White House said a “federal funding freeze” remains in “full force and effect.” It is currently on hold amid legal challenges.

Thomas, who is also on the Board of Trustees at Yale University, said college leaders across the country have spent the better part of the week focused on “the consequences of this action.” Morehouse immediately initiated a hiring freeze in preparation for a potentially significant financial disruption.

“All of the institutions are still in limbo,” he said.

What college aid may be affected

At Morehouse College, about 40% of the student body relies on Federal Pell Grants, a type of federal aid available to low-income families.

Following the memo’s release, the Education Department announced that the freeze would not affect student loans or Pell Grants.

“The temporary pause does not impact Title I, IDEA, or other formula grants, nor does it apply to Federal Pell Grants and Direct Loans under Title IV [of the Higher Education Act],” Education Department spokesperson Madi Biedermann said in a statement.

In addition to the federal financial aid programs that fall under Title IV, Title I provides financial assistance to school districts with children from low-income families. The Individuals with Disabilities Education Act, or IDEA, provides funding for students with disabilities.

The funding pause “only applies to discretionary grants at the Department of Education,” Biedermann said. “These will be reviewed by Department leadership for alignment with Trump Administration priorities.”

President Trump moves to halt federal grants

But questions remain about other aid for college.

The freeze could affect federal work-study programs and the Federal Supplemental Educational Opportunity Grant, which are provided in bulk to colleges to provide to students, according to Kalman Chany, a financial aid consultant and author of The Princeton Review’s “Paying for College.”

The disruption to federally backed research funding also poses a threat to college programs and staff.

‘Lots of reasons to still be concerned’

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What federal employees need to consider when evaluating offer to resign

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A “Do not cross” sign is illuminated at a crosswalk outside of U.S. Capitol building in Washington, US, November 10, 2024. 

Hannah Mckay | Reuters

The Trump administration emailed more than 2 million federal workers this week, giving them the option to resign now and get pay and benefits through Sept. 30.

Workers have until Feb. 6 to accept the “deferred resignation” offer.

The payouts come on the heels of President Donald Trump‘s executive order to end DEI programs. On Wednesday, he said federal workers need to return to the office five days a week “or be terminated.”

“We think a very substantial number of people will not show up to work, and therefore our government will get smaller and more efficient,” Trump said at the signing of an immigration detention law.

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Experts advise federal employees to take their time before accepting the offer. By accepting the resignation, tenured federal employees could lose certain rights they may have.

“If you resign, it’s deemed voluntary,” said Michael L. Vogelsang, Jr., a principal of The Employment Law Group, P.C. “If you are a permanent, tenured employee in the government and the administration wants you out, laws still exist that federal employees cannot just be fired on a whim.”

Meanwhile, some lawmakers question whether the president can make this offer without Congressional approval.

Sen. Tim Kaine, D-Virginia, said federal employees should not be “fooled” by Trump’s proposal.

“If you accept that offer and resign, he’ll stiff you,” Kaine said. “He doesn’t have any authority to do this.” 

The Voluntary Separation Incentive Payment Authority gives federal agencies the authority to offer buyout incentives for some employees to resign or retire, but it is capped at $25,000.

Asked for more detail on the payouts, including what authority the president has to offer to pay through September 30, the White House referred back to its statement given on Tuesday.

“If they don’t want to work in the office and contribute to making America great again, then they are free to choose a different line of work and the Trump Administration will provide a very generous payout of eight months,” White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt said in a statement.

There is already uncertainty around current funding for the federal government. It’s operating under a short-term continuing resolution passed in December. Unless Congress acts, the federal government could shut down on March 14. 

Unlike with corporate buyouts, federal employees who received this offer can’t appeal for a better deal, experts say.

“Usually with buyouts, I think of more severance, and usually it’s sort of some kind of negotiation. This isn’t really negotiation. It’s sort of a unilateral offer,” Vogelsang said.

Still, some of the factors to consider for weighing the government’s deferred resignation offer are similar to what one would weigh in a corporate buyout, experts say:

Consider how much your position is at risk

For federal employees who aren’t permanent, Vogelsang says they should consider how much their position is at risk and if their skills make it likely they’ll be able to find another job. 

“I think there’s enough executive orders out there that people in DEI, probationary employees, IRS employees, environmental employees, can probably read between the lines that their positions may be at risk moving forward,” he said.

Research job alternatives 

Career experts advise not waiting to begin the job search.

“Start thinking about your search now, because it’s going to be longer than you think, especially with people flooding the market,” said Caroline Ceniza-Levine, a career coach and founder of Dream Career Club. 

Prepare for a job search by updating your LinkedIn profile, identifying your accomplishments and reflecting on professional achievements so you can explain them clearly and concisely. “You don’t get every job that you apply for, and that can be a very frustrating and emotionally draining process,” said Ron Seifert, senior client partner at the staffing firm Korn Ferry. 

Consider the work culture if you stay

Think about the culture and career implications of rejecting the offer. A question to ask yourself is, “If I’m still here after this is done, what will this place feel like?” Seifert said. “Is this a place where I have opportunity?”

“I would caution people against making decisions when they’re in the panic zone,” said Connie Whittaker Dunlop, principal of Monarch Consulting Group. “There are a fair number of unknowns, but if you can kind of ground yourself in what you know, what you value, and then make that, make a decision from that space, I think,  people will be better served.” 

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